paragraph analysis

I feel the biggest problem in our class with 5 part paragraphs was the flow, when I say flow I am referring to the idea that transitions, commentary and word choice all go together into an easy to read essay. Words are an extremely complicated puzzle to put together, there is always another way of saying something, I think most people, like myself, struggled at getting the paper balanced, you know when something doesn't sound right but you often don't know how to fix it.

My biggest problem is also flow. You want everything to sound right and to fit yet some things are just awkward and do not roll off the tongue. At first my paper was very simple, it was of a neutral tone, in my thoughts, it was boring. So I spiced it up and added a plethora of words that were outside my vocabulary range, coming back to my support group the next day, I was informed that "I sounded like a dictionary!" I went home took out half of the words and immediately sensed a greater balance in my paper. I think in my next piece of writing I will be focusing on using big words with a sense of confidence while still maintaining a flow and an easy to understand layout. I will also try to make my transitions stronger and really fit into place.